Outburst Follow-up

After the Rain

Friday, 10 March 2023 (26)

Up early at 4:30. Don't think the sleep is affecting me. Four hours, six or seven hours, likely the same though I would say it's harder to stay awake in some classes but that may be a separate no matter how much sleep I got. I emptied my "Po" in the shower. I found a rock or maybe a meat bone fragment in it. Don't ask how I knew that .

Studying up more on xxxxxxxx (asked not to give location of permanent site). Trying to get the names of my host family, their jobs (town major & wife) and my other contacts down as well as learn a little more of what is required of me and what are the ongoing projects.

Classes today on "Emergency Preparedness", "Site Visits", "Being a Foreigner in Madagascar" and our "Emergency Action Plan". We need to have a "Go" bag at all times and have many phone numbers literally committed to memory in case of medical or emergencies of any kind (including marauding cattle rustlers - I kid you not). We got a medical wrist band with our Duty Medical Phone number and doctor's name in case we are incapacitated or just can't remember the number.

We had five or six volunteers from G57 join us for a couple classes. They are our emergency Wardens - individuals who help pass information up and down the chain of command about emergencies, our locations and assist us in any emergencies. They were also helpful when we asked questions about what's to come and actually being on site. Also had a visit from a RPCV (Return Peace Corps Volunteer) who stayed in Madagascar when everyone else went home for Covid a few years ago. She has since lived here five years and teaches 4th graders at the British school in Tana. Helpful to hear her insights and what we need to focus on and how to handle certain situations as foreigners.

One of G57 is older like me (in her 50s). Said there really was a lot of ageism in her group (more than at home). I gather from her comments that it is even worse than for me. She is a woman and doesn't fit in with the women, and certainly not with the men, and she thought the staff minimized her as well. We both agree that there is a high school atmosphere here and maturity isn't appreciated. Almost impossible to earn their respect or inclusion. They are often too involved into themselves and their clique.

Did laundry at lunch but drying it in the lower dungeon of the Fortress. It will probably take all night to dry.

Before lunch our American over training asked to speak with three of us over the incident that happened the other day when I blew up. She just wanted to make sure I felt my voice was being hear and had value. She said she was worried over how I was taking things and coping. She noticed that I have spent lots of time with and around staff and thought that was a good way to find support, if I needed it. But I am spending time around staff because they are Malagasy (the people I have come to help or be of service to). It is easy to spend time with them, to listen to them, to learn from them, to be their friend, to love them. I tell them often that I love them, that they are my friends, that they have pampered and treated us so kindly. They are teaching us, and have become the first we have loved, and eventually show us the way to love all Malagasy. I pretty much brushed off any need or concern and expressed what I was doing to earn the cohort's trust and remain in the groups good graces. Ask their forgiveness for any real or unintended offenses, support, encourage, and compliment them at every opportunity. Doesn't matter if it works or not - it's what I have to do.

The two others that were asked to stay after class may have been some of the louder voices on that recorded training video (it was zoom training recorded for our Covid trainees). Perhaps she also wanted to express her concerns for their voices or just wanted to check in on their versions and opinions.  

Another trip to the stores to buy whatever. I have a hoot going into one store where I purposefully go in unprepared and have fun looking around for new things to try and buy. And I finally got some kind of a popsicle though it was about the size of an extra-large marshmallow and tasted like frozen ice with very little flavor. It was the first icy thing I've had since the plane ride here.

At another store I frequent, I bought a treat for the dog. They find it funny that I keep doing this and comment to other customers "he's buying it for the dog Totos". Little do they know - I also share it with the chickens.