Cyclone

Fishermen early morning on the lake

Tuesday, 21 February 2023 (9)

Up at 3:30am - A familiar theme. 

I worry. I worry about my next blood test. I worry about learning the language. I worry about this experience being cut short like so many other experiences I've had in life. Having had fifty different work experiences, I wonder if I will not complete this one, this role, this Peace Corps -  not because it is up to me but because it is not.

God does not want me to settle down. He does not want me to stop learning, stop giving, stop loving. He plays with me, having molded me from scraps, cut parts of me off that don't work well, that served a purpose but is no longer needed. He applies me to the hammer, the saw, the grinder, the sander the blow torch. He's refining and polishing. And the whole time I fight the process. I refuse to become what the maker wants me to become. I kick against the pricks.

I see and I don't see. I worry because I cannot see. I worry because I cannot comprehend why, nor what, nor how it all is to be.

Cyclone Freddy hit the East coast of Madagascar this evening. They had ended classes early so we could all hunker down in the dorms. Many staff left to be with family and our weeks schedule was changed or put on hold for the unknown possible devastation bearing down on us.

Fortunately, for us, we are 75 mile from the coast and more than 125 mile north of where the cyclone was headed. It was interesting to ask several locals about how far we were from the storm. First all miles are measured in kilometers and they don't use "as the bird flies" distances. Instead they measure distances based on the road with its many curves and detours. That same 75 miles to the east coast could very well be 200 kilometers for them by driving.

All the precautions were for naught as the storm hit early this evening with very little impact to us so far away. There was a slight increase in wind and no rain at all. Unfortunately, for so many who were in the path, I heard it was very destructive. We are all concerned for family and friends of our staff  who have family there.

But here, many stayed up a bit and sang songs with the locals. I felt the need for sleep and probably was down by10pm.

Wednesday, 22 February 2023 (10)

Finally, got in a couple of solid hours of language study. It was good for my confidence to get in a little study. I've resolved to get the language down and hopefully not struggle with it.

With the sun just risen, I used the small structure surrounded by windows on the edge of the lake. With such a view, one could imagine being almost anywhere there is a lake surrounded by trees. The fishermen were busy at work as usual. They use a technique of slapping the water with their paddles to scare the fish into their nets. I even notice a larger than normal boat and several men carrying dozens of bags of rice or some other staples. Perhaps, it was easier to transport by water than the roads.

There's a word in Malagasy "izao". It means now. It struck me emotionally as I contemplated the beautiful view, this wonderful experience, where I was, how hard it was to get here and what I am embarking on doing. I have "now". Time will pass. This moment will pass. This experience will be long gone but I want to remember where I am and what I have…now!

Classes yesterday and today were on "The Peace Corps  Approach to Development", "The First Mission of the Peace Corps", "Future Activities Assessments", and the "Role of the Volunteer". They can be taught rather straight forward without much enthusiasm or diversion from government standard. But I am never bored as the content is new.

Still trying to fly under the radar of participating too much. Trying hard to contribute equally with the others. I'll pass from answering in many cases even if no one else steps up, or knows the answer, or has an opinion. Partially because of the counsel I received from a staff member, here on my first day of classes. She suggested I take a pass 3 out of 4 times I feel the urge to contribute. If anything, I am not even answering unless it is truly a major need or something important no one has caught or understands the need to clarify.

I do this also of my own, as I understand I do not want others to view me as a know-it-all, or as someone needing to prove something, or sees themself as better or more knowledgeable. I'll pick and choose my contribution and lay low on things least important to comment on.

This afternoon was language class and was both good and bad. Isabella and I have fun especially when our instructor Rindra does a charade instead of speaking English to have us guess the word. By the end of the session my head is too full to make much sense.  This evening I split my time between socializing and study though I would rather only study.