Drama

"Totos" - the Robertini dog

Tuesday, 28 February 2023 (16)

There's no experience like pushing your feces down a golf ball sized hole you call the shower drain. I'm not complaining, not really. It is what it is and any sacrifice to be here is worth it. I do hear a lot of complaining from some of the other volunteers that the food is not great or their host family or accommodations are not great. It's normal for sure to think but there is a room full of Madagascar trainers who live here and will long after us continue to live here. I find a lot of those comments are "I" centric. I thought we were all here for others and the small price of inconveniences should only help us to better understand the people, their lives and their culture.

Speaking of culture, the topic of respect for the elderly came up because the people of Malagasy really do respect their elders. They have special words even in their greeting. I have received this treatment. So I brought up in discussion that Americans do not give proper respect to older Americans. The 20 somethings went off on their opinion's defense of how older people may not get things, tech, social media, their music and so on. Not sure what got to me but I spoke up probably rather loudly and said, "Can I disagree?". There was a hush in the room with all eyes on me. I guess I interrupted someone else's response so they went back to hers and then I got to speak. I said a few things in an older person's defense. I have lived the exact same years they have, I know tech, I nearly have a master's degree in Social Media (Mass Communications) and we really don't respect our elders.

More discussion which really irked me - one person insinuating that we did things wrong and I wanted to just say "What, what, did I do wrong? Tell me?" I got in the final word. I'm not sure I know where it came from and I can't quote the words I said but it was basically in a very calm, unemotional voice, "Thank You for your comments. I think the bottom line is that you will understand my perspective when you are older, when you have raised a family, when you have experienced ageism. You'll get there, it's coming and then you will understand."

It seems interesting that we are being told and supposedly trying to learn of, and understand, and be accepting of the Malagasy culture but they cannot understand mine.

This is definitely a dangerous environment to be the only one over 32 or so. I feel I must be a little careful otherwise there is some social suicide coming my way. The group seems at times like a bully or at least has the voices and votes to shut me or my opinions down. 

And I have been careful not to ask too many questions just perhaps the most crucial ones. They don't like it when the class gets expanded when one of my questions extends the time. We were discussing the Malagasy Medical Health situation. When it came time for questions no one had any. We immediately had a break and I went and asked one of the instructors half a dozen questions. It surprises me that people don't have questions, that they aren't very curious or they haven't even contemplated the real issues the country is facing but might get a better insight with a few good questions. Is there corruption, bureaucracy, enough supplies, what level of care is available at the various medical clinics? 

There seems to be a lack of reality here. Most seem happy just to discuss the generic surface content and either not know or not care about the real issues. Perhaps, I mentioned earlier that I spoke up the other day and asked if the real problem isn't poverty - something we can't help with. Instead, perhaps we are treating the symptoms of the problem, putting a bandage on it.

What we do here is honorable and helpful but not the solution.

I bought another towel as I only have one and nothing to either clean or use as a backup. Also a pair of flip flops with a YouTube logo. Never thought I'd change that much. Real men where steel toed shoes in my mind but I'm going to run out of socks if I don't ration them.

We're all going to have to learn some French as the medical system is still French. And I am determined to learn more conversation and question phrases for the meals around here.

Our Host Families

Thursday, 23 February 2023 (11)

It was a difficult day in language class. I get the current stuff, today it being sentence structure. But am almost clueless when it comes to remembering the phrases and connecting phrases that are important building blocks. Especially greetings. 

We did another field trip and went out to the gate back to talk to the security guards. While my fellow trainee, Isabella has it down. I am literally dumbfounded. It's like I was absent that day in school long ago when they covered adding and multiplying fractions and I can't remember how I ever figured it out without that basic understanding.  I hated those math cards all my school days - never sure I had it right or was just guessing.

There's a famous line from the movie Jerry Maguire - "you had me at hello!". In my case, I could easily say in almost every encounter - "You lost me at Hello!"

By the end of class, I was in tears and asked for the words " I am sorry". Our wonderful instructor Rindra encouraged me and insisted I had no reason to apologize, but should not be so hard on myself. But it is painful as I know I am trying to put in the time. Maybe just not on the right things. I know it will come, I know it takes time, and work, and lots of practice. We're like 1st graders just starting out reading and writing. It seems that when I speak the first thing my mind thinks as a response is Spanish or Dutch. It's complicated by words such as "Si" which in Spanish means "Yes" but in Malagasy means "no".

I had a long talk with our wonderful instructor Rindra. She has a law degree but chooses to be here. She says we inspire her. She has it backwards.

I'll be fine.

Friday, 24 February 2023 (12)

Today in language class we will cover numbers. I have 1 to 10 down. Now I just need to work on 11 to Infinity! That about sums up my impression of where I am with this language, I've barely scratched the surface.

Lots of classes about culture, what to do and not do, what is taboo, how to clean fruits, vegetables, meat, how to purify drinking water and use the filtration device. Though I think the training on washing things and purifying water was pretty quick. Everyone seems to be more concerned and worries about it than myself. There's lots of advice about what not to buy in markets, what not to order off the menu at a restaurant (when we eventually see one in a bigger town) and to order everything "Masaka Tsare" - well done.

There' s almost always never enough time to ask all the questions we have. And then there's those who would rather we not extend the class times. And I have my one or two question/comment muzzle to consider.

There was a party this evening as the girls put together something to celebrate Madi's Golden birthday (actually tomorrow) turning 25 on the 25th. They borrow lights and whatnot from anyone willing to share.  They also found "Dobby" face down by the medical buildings. That's twice I've almost lost him. They also wanted us to where yellow (I guess because it's her "golden" birthday. I wore my yellow rain pants. Sam really liked them and offered to buy them for $80. I just gave them to him. Later he would return them to me as they didn't fit. Then he turned it around on me and gave me a yellow rain jacket top that would go nicely with it.

I tried to get some footage of the party but it was very dark from the get-go. And then instead of games, I believe everyone just danced most of the evening. I heard it broke up about 11.  I was asleep by 10.

One corner of my new room.

Saturday, 25 February 2023 (13) Moving Day

Everyone is excited to be moving to their host family. We discovered yesterday where we would go, weather they had children or animals and where on the map the home is.

I received a family who is older. Robertini is 70, his wife 65. Two helpers are 50 and 45.  We joked it was a retirement home. I was the last to be dropped off at the end of the town and am actually in the French residence that looks like an old Palace. Literally looks like they should put a moat around it. We will have volunteer training here occasionally. I was hoping it had running water and electricity as it hinted. Instead there is electricity but no running water as I have thus far seen and the toilet is 150 feet or more away and is of the squat variety.

They also have a dog (Toties) and a cat (haven't met the cat yet).

But Robertini and his spouse has been great so far. I met them exiting the Peace Corps transport car and they were very polite. I was tongue tied and spoke little during lunch. Lunch itself was mostly rice, vegies and fish (with bones and head still intact). Picked up a few words and decided dinner would not be a repeat.  After lunch Robertini wanted to drive but I couldn't because of the rules. We ended up walking the maybe 1/2 mile and stopped at several stores along the way.

We went out to the Airtel store to put more credits on my phone. I had hoped to just do 60,000 Airey and it would be a credit to maybe spend half that on their internet plan but there was a lot of talking Robertini and the sales girls had. I think she just made the whole amount go towards the plan that gets me lots of internet data. Oh well, 60,000 is only about 16 dollars. We'll see this first month if it is too much.

Robertini gave me a few new works along the way though I doubt it lasted past a minute in my head. Stopped at a couple other stores and bought some of the bubblegum tasting soda we had at lunch. And at another store, we bought cigarettes four Robertini, chocolate that I think is made in Madagascar. It's really good. As well as some toilet paper.

I'll do a video segment tomorrow and show the building and myself in it.

Dinner was better as I had some time to prepare some words related to dinner. It went well and I'm sure they are going to be a great host for these 11 weeks. I am extremely tired? At dinner, I felt more relaxed. This time they only had rice, (mostly for Robertini), spaghetti noodles with and without and topping, some bread (no butter or anything to put on it).

Got my first mosquito bite. Not worried. 

Sunday, 26 February 2023 (14)

Up at 5 - 5:30. Is that sleeping in? Another cold shower. I'm sure I'll get used to it. Found myself all tangled up in the mosquito net. Probably wasn't very effective but I did feel like it was like any sleep here or at home.

Took video of this massive building I am living in. It is like a fortress and could use a moat. Breakfast of eggs and meat. More filming and organizing of my photo and video files. Was hoping to work on one or more videos. 

Most of the larger PC group got together at the soccer field and were exchanging "Host Family" stories. Robertini and I walked into town together again. Bought a few items and had fun in one of the stores just being curious. Some drink, some cookies and some Malagasy Chocolate bars. Tried to see if they had a pain of slipper type shoes but apparently they don't have anything in my size - just smaller. Saw a small child-sized painting set of primary colors and thought of Emily. I went up in the field where they were playing soccer with some local kids  to ask her how to say, "I have a gift for you." She misunderstood me and walked up to Robertini thinking I was asking her how to say it to him. I stopped her to tell her that no, they were for her.

Monday, 27 February 2023 (15)

Time to start a spread sheet with my wake and sleep times. Awoke at 4:30 - before the rooster. Some here are complaining about the roosters. If I'm truly asleep nothing will wake me. 

But I did go to bed with some knee pain. I had fallen on my left knee back on Thursday or Friday when our combined language group did a numbers game of hopscotch. Why I haven't felt any pain for a few days is beyond me. Took a couple "non-aspirin" from my medical kit this morning and a couple more this afternoon. Will probably follow that up with two more before bed.

I noticed that with this extra time I feel like I am living more deliberately. Taking more time to do the basics and get it all done - washing, studying, organizing, prayer and scripture study and maybe then a little editing. And I find myself taking long showers again. Not because the hot water sooths and relaxes me but because the cold water is so difficult to apply to parts of my body that doesn't want to get that - specifically, my back.

We have classes here at the fortress in the large room above me. From the comments I am getting as I let some see my crib, about a half a dozen now - accommodations are obviously diverse and often less spacious than mine. Which is interesting considering my first impression of this place.  It didn't seem like quite the palace that others are saying.  But then I had nothing to compare it to. Sounds like I lucked out. Some think they have a place a quarter of the size. Another indicated that the whole family was living a space the size of my room. Though I doubt that.

Here there are no children to distract me and even Robertini and his wife have made no demands on my time nor let me do any chores. Eventually, I imagine we'll connect on other subjects but so far my only real connection has been at meals where I get to try out my latest vocabulary of words about food, or clothing, or some such.

Language lesson today was on shopping and Cedric and I are the only two being taught by Tojo (pronounced Tuju). We had both studied shopping words ahead of class so we had a better chance of getting things.

Our other classes were about the weekend we just had with our host families and were asked about what shocked us, what surprised us, what were some inconveniences, issues and concerns as well as what fun stuff we had encountered. Personally,  I think all those areas were to be expected and didn't much phase me. Some of the others had privacy concerns, safety concerns and a mattress that sagged so bad it touched the floor.

There was questions related to trash for example and most have yet to find a trash can, me either. Others are worried about the burning of plastic or what to do with used feminine products. It surprises me to see staff react like they have never heard these questions and have few answers - innovate or punt being one of them. I'll give it to them that the Peace Corps is just getting back into the swing of things here and all staff may not have been around for years - still answers are not easily found even from staff.

In the afternoon we talked about Heath and Public health. From all this talk about what we'll be doing here - it seems obvious that we are treating the symptoms while the bigger issues are poverty and lack of education.

After class a few of us got together, "the rejects" as one called us. We don't seem to be the cool kids or fit in with some of the other cliques. There's starting to be a little drama amongst the groups and individuals. I'm staying out of the mix. It's natural that we are all pulling back from the social side and focusing on learning the language but there is still some closer than we may be or there are tensions among a few as opinions vary and people say things in jest, but they get escalated out of proportion - drama - it's here!

Cyclone

Fishermen early morning on the lake

Tuesday, 21 February 2023 (9)

Up at 3:30am - A familiar theme. 

I worry. I worry about my next blood test. I worry about learning the language. I worry about this experience being cut short like so many other experiences I've had in life. Having had fifty different work experiences, I wonder if I will not complete this one, this role, this Peace Corps -  not because it is up to me but because it is not.

God does not want me to settle down. He does not want me to stop learning, stop giving, stop loving. He plays with me, having molded me from scraps, cut parts of me off that don't work well, that served a purpose but is no longer needed. He applies me to the hammer, the saw, the grinder, the sander the blow torch. He's refining and polishing. And the whole time I fight the process. I refuse to become what the maker wants me to become. I kick against the pricks.

I see and I don't see. I worry because I cannot see. I worry because I cannot comprehend why, nor what, nor how it all is to be.

Cyclone Freddy hit the East coast of Madagascar this evening. They had ended classes early so we could all hunker down in the dorms. Many staff left to be with family and our weeks schedule was changed or put on hold for the unknown possible devastation bearing down on us.

Fortunately, for us, we are 75 mile from the coast and more than 125 mile north of where the cyclone was headed. It was interesting to ask several locals about how far we were from the storm. First all miles are measured in kilometers and they don't use "as the bird flies" distances. Instead they measure distances based on the road with its many curves and detours. That same 75 miles to the east coast could very well be 200 kilometers for them by driving.

All the precautions were for naught as the storm hit early this evening with very little impact to us so far away. There was a slight increase in wind and no rain at all. Unfortunately, for so many who were in the path, I heard it was very destructive. We are all concerned for family and friends of our staff  who have family there.

But here, many stayed up a bit and sang songs with the locals. I felt the need for sleep and probably was down by10pm.

Wednesday, 22 February 2023 (10)

Finally, got in a couple of solid hours of language study. It was good for my confidence to get in a little study. I've resolved to get the language down and hopefully not struggle with it.

With the sun just risen, I used the small structure surrounded by windows on the edge of the lake. With such a view, one could imagine being almost anywhere there is a lake surrounded by trees. The fishermen were busy at work as usual. They use a technique of slapping the water with their paddles to scare the fish into their nets. I even notice a larger than normal boat and several men carrying dozens of bags of rice or some other staples. Perhaps, it was easier to transport by water than the roads.

There's a word in Malagasy "izao". It means now. It struck me emotionally as I contemplated the beautiful view, this wonderful experience, where I was, how hard it was to get here and what I am embarking on doing. I have "now". Time will pass. This moment will pass. This experience will be long gone but I want to remember where I am and what I have…now!

Classes yesterday and today were on "The Peace Corps  Approach to Development", "The First Mission of the Peace Corps", "Future Activities Assessments", and the "Role of the Volunteer". They can be taught rather straight forward without much enthusiasm or diversion from government standard. But I am never bored as the content is new.

Still trying to fly under the radar of participating too much. Trying hard to contribute equally with the others. I'll pass from answering in many cases even if no one else steps up, or knows the answer, or has an opinion. Partially because of the counsel I received from a staff member, here on my first day of classes. She suggested I take a pass 3 out of 4 times I feel the urge to contribute. If anything, I am not even answering unless it is truly a major need or something important no one has caught or understands the need to clarify.

I do this also of my own, as I understand I do not want others to view me as a know-it-all, or as someone needing to prove something, or sees themself as better or more knowledgeable. I'll pick and choose my contribution and lay low on things least important to comment on.

This afternoon was language class and was both good and bad. Isabella and I have fun especially when our instructor Rindra does a charade instead of speaking English to have us guess the word. By the end of the session my head is too full to make much sense.  This evening I split my time between socializing and study though I would rather only study.

Week Two

Dorm building at Camp PC

Sunday, 19 February 2023 (7)

Up at 5:00 am, can't sleep anymore. It seems that I need this extra time to get it all done. It doesn't seem to be of my choosing. I set no alarm, I plan no schedule. I just go to bed - usually later than most and find myself awake at an early hour. Am I still tired? Not really. But I am happy to think that I can have some extra time to film, to write, to study, to think and pray. 

Though the praying is less formal or perhaps different than most. Probably fits the "pray always" mode more than the ritual morning, noon and night variety.

God is my constant companion - especially in these days of strange and unusual experiences. He hears my concerns. He knows before me. We have a relationship. We always have. He guides me and I try my best to respond. I am led by his promptings within - do this, say that, consider that. 

It is interesting that I am asleep almost immediately here and only wake up maybe once a night. That may increase as I start drinking water more. It doesn't seem to matter whether the mattress is firm or soft, or the blankets enough or not. I find that I really don't need blankets. It doesn't get cold at night - at least not for me.

Spent a little time filming the sunrise, fishing locals on the lake, and volunteers waking up - exercising, stretching, contemplation their day. Did get seven interviews with other volunteers today. A good start. I think I'll edit these before pushing for more. It was a slow day as we only had to catch up on some training.

As a group we walked into town - maybe a two miles round trip.

While the others walked through the town, I tried to interact with the street vendors and people who may or may not have been interested in us. I felt utterly unable to remember any Malagasy at all. I stopped at a local bicycle repair shed (or at least I thought it was). Tried to speak. Unable to find any meaningful words other than the Malagasy word for Bicycle and adding I am Peace Corps. Very frustrating. Upon leaving, I heard a comment and them laughing. Not sure what to make of that.

Sitting at the porch of a storefront, I tried to figure out how to ask permission to film two old men (or at least they looked older - but could have easily been younger than me). They were playing a traditional Malagasy game called Fanorona, which looks a little like checkers. The small movable pieces were made from local pebbles, I suspect. The board - handmade.

I was invited by a third gentleman to sit and play. He indicated that he would film me. I hesitated before handing over my GoPro over, but I did. Maybe not a very wise thing but I decided to place trust in the man. Retelling this story later others suggested I did the wrong thing as he could have obviously run away with it. I joked that he was old and I probably would have been able to outrun him.

I lost the one move I made. It was good to at least try and interact. 

I bought cookies and a "World Cola" (a knock off of Cola-Cola) from the same man I played Fanorona with who operated this small storefront. I had no idea how much to pay nor whether I was getting the local price or the "Rich American" price. It didn't matter as I planned to pay more anyway as a way to assist or thank him for his hospitality and kindness. We played a guessing game as to what he or I was saying. Words failed me. Charades was more the form of this conversation. 

One, two, three packages of cookies? How about some gum? Is that gum? Coca-Cola? Sure - World Cola is fine. I had no idea what things cost, how much change I should receive back. I handed over a 10,000 Madagascar note (about $2). He returned more than half in change. No idea if it was too much or correct. I bought another cookie package and tried to get rid of that money. Handed a package to the other gentleman who may or may not have been asking for something. Then I handed over the remainder of the change to the vendor for his kindness.

Stopped at other vendors - selling meat on a table, shooing away flies with a brush like wand. Totally not communicating. The woman thought that I perhaps was interested in buying it and started to package it up. No, so sorry, I tried to say. Another woman from the neighboring stall knew I was Peace Corps and assisted me. I filmed her fruits and vegetables.

Eventually, I caught up with my cohort who were playing soccer with some very young scouts. Someone didn't think I should be filming them and tried to warm or give me advice about shooting video of kids and such. Though I wasn't concerned, I stopped and tried to validate her position and take it as a reminder to remember the boundaries. But I did disagree. I feel a little outnumbered here. I do not think they know me or my work or my ability to do what is right with the cameras. I believe they see me as an older guy with a hobby.

I have heard their arguments about being in the moment and not viewing reality through the lens of a camera or phone. I couldn't agree more. But sometimes I think I find my moment through that lens. Sometimes I see a beauty because I am looking for it and trying to capture it. Others can never experience some of these things if someone doesn't do it.

In the back of mind is an idea, a growing impression that the possibility of me not making the cut in three months is a real possibility. It's the possibility that I may not lose a few pounds, or get my iron up, and my blood pressure down. So I need to do all that I can now. I need to love these guys and strengthen and encourage and hope that at least their work, their sacrifice will be enough for us all.

Monday, 20 February 2023 (8)

Up at 5am. Video the beautiful spots around campus with the rising sun. I had tried to get a few shots of the other volunteers working out, contemplating, etc. but I think that may have gotten me into trouble. Sam spoke with me before breakfast to mention that several of the girls had been talking about me not respecting their bounds with my filming. They were considering letting staff know that it had gotten out of hand. And though I had expected something like this to be a problem, I expected it to come from staff. I knew I needed to minimize filming and instead work on the job and language. I guess I just didn't expect my cohort to take the filming so badly.

Sam didn't expect me to talk with them but I did. I apologized and as Sam suggested, not defend my actions. Then I found a few others and likewise apologized. I'll be putting the cameras away for a few days until I get to my host family, then I'll try again.

Before breakfast, all of us were expected to take a Covid test and reply to medical if we were positive or not. I guess we were all negative.

Had my Health Technical interview which was meeting with four staff members who just had be talk about the areas on a form they gave us earlier. They wanted to know what background I had in the health field, where I'd prefer to serve, etc. I had thought on these issues back hone and pretty much gave similar answers. I trust the process, I am willing to go wherever they can use me. I also mistakenly said I had no fears but quickly backtracked and gave a few besides the snakes and spiders.

After lunch was our first language class. Most were in groups of 3 or 4 while I was fortunate to just be together with Isabella. About 4 hours today that although we had fun, Isabella and I probably felt our heads would burst. We started with the basics, Words and phrases we could use immediately.

Did my first hand laundry this afternoon. Looks like it went well with my garments drying quickly.

First Weekend in Country

Mealtime at Camp PC

Saturday, 18 February 2023 (6)

I hit the pillow each evening and fall almost instantly asleep. I awake early each day without alarm or the need for further rest.

There is a hallway light that shines through our bedroom entryway falling directly on my face if the door isn't pulled shut. Both nights I've awoke to this light. Perhaps it is a good omen, shedding a heavenly inspiration and watchfull spirit upon me as I sleep. 

Still I awoke at 2:30 and figured there would be no better time to get online and work on my training with no one else online in the dining room. Also, to perhaps text or call Natalie. Matt Ozark had texted me and I responded back that he was part of the reason I was here.

I finally emptied my bowels after four days. And realized that I've only been suffering from small issues all combined to appear to be something substantial when they are all only small issues. I cannot suppose that I would not face some of these issues and more. Handling these small concerns are likely crucial as I build up some experience and stamina should or perhaps I should say, when the larger issues occur.

We had the first of many medical classes. We were given an overview of issues we needed to be aware of for our safety. The medical staff is literally our personal concierge medical doctors and nurses. We have 24/7 access for emergencies though there was much emphasis on understanding that the medical people have lives too and our direct lines to the staff should be respected and we should only call when there are genuine emergencies. Otherwise, there is always an on duty staff member ready and available to hear of our medical emergencies. Office hours are available otherwise and preferable.

This afternoon I had my medical evaluation. Doctor A and I went over my records and the issue of not bringing that medication came up. They are going to try and come up with something and I should wait and see before having the meds sent from the US. It is a little worrisome about my condition for them. Already they have programmed me to have a site location within 6 hours of Tana. Perhaps they are not telling me that this is because of my age and presumed possibiulity of having more issues related to age. Some posts are as far as two days away and they worry that emergency care needs to be much closer for myself and a few others that I have talked with.

Doctor A is also a little intimidating. He scares me and I try not to divulge too much information as I am afraid it will only work against me. Some of this I will not be able to post online as I am afraid it may get back to staff now that the secret is out that I am out on social media.

The bottom line was that we would be doing another set of blood tests later or near the end of PST (Pre-Service Training). Scary. Then he also did my blood pressure and O2 levels. O2 was at 95 which I already knew was not great and borderline. Blood pressure was high at 142/80, and he thinks more water would help. We both think losing weight would be helpful and watching my diet. Currently I am at 225, more than I can remember. I'd like to get closer to under 200. I will be eating a little better. I'll be skipping much of the rice and bread, and taking smaller portions. I'll also try and eat more vegatables or at least start by trying them.

I tried getting out this afternoon and running which is a joke. I don't have any running shoes, so I'm using the steel toes boots, I have no shorts so I am using the pants that zip to shorts. I have no t-shirts so using my one and only one sweatshirt.  Ran a little but I know it's not going to happen. Perhaps I can do more walking.

This afternoon we were to get our new sim cards. It literally took half a dozen of the phone company people 3 hours to get 23 or us sim cards and working on their system. Part of the problem was the very bad internet.

Started doing a few interviews with staff and other volunteers. I'm hoping I've gained a little more trust.

There is so much I need to do here. Keep up on the training, involve myself with the other volunteers and their lives, and learn all the things we need to learn. Shooting and journaling, although very important seems to eat into my time and takes away from quality spent with them. Last night I was asked to play a card game, even though I had my laptop out and was hoping to start downloading footage and pre-edit. Instead, I said absolutely as it was exactly one of those times I had earlier thought about when I'd have to avoid segregating myself away in my own bubble.

To bed by 11:00.

Early Days

Wednesday, 15 February 2023 (3)

Few of us slept much last night. It was 1:30 when I finally took to bed. I had washed my garments for the first time in order to reuse them in a few hours. Bags packed and ready to shower, dress and walk out the door. Around 4am three of us were in the lobby and ready to go. I messaged the What's App group that we had two baggage carts available and ready to come for their bags. For the next hour we carted down and I became the bag weigher. It appeared that almost everyone had overweight bags. Even the two extra bags we filled the other day afforded few with lighter bags.

Most had overweight carry-ons. It took less than an hour to arrive by bus at the International airport. One of the volunteers took the advice given at the end of our orientation yesterday afternoon and decided to call it quits before the trip to Madagascar. One of the girls, was effected by the decision and was in tears to me as she spoke of those she left behind and likely wouldn't be there upon her return - her grandparents, her cat. She had already been through a few weeks in Madagascar before Covid and sent home three weeks into her volunteer training because of Covid.

I wanted to give her a hug but didn't dare. A moment later, she hugged me and thanked me for just listening. I suspect that this is exactly how I hope to help. Some may need a reassuring and listening mature person who won't judge them nor feel the need to give advice where none is wanted. Later, I connected with some of the girls and asked them to spend some time with her and work their own magic as only young women can.

We were relieved when we discovered we didn't need to bring our carry-ons to the counter to be weighed. Instead we piled them against the wall and checked in with our overweigh checked baggage. But in answer to our hopes and prayers, either they didn't care about the 3-10 lbs. overage or, in my case, the scale wasn't even turned on.

I've been making it a habit to thank everyone we meet and many of those working behind the scenes to make our passage smooth, uneventful and less stressful. Yes, the obvious airline counter people, the TSA workers, the hotel staff - but also the cleaners, the food service people, the waiters, the many military people wandering the halls in our hotel, just blocks from the pentagon, and the stranger with a verbal thanks, a smile or an interested moment to acknowledge their existence, their importance and my appreciation.

A couple hours at the gate and then boarding. That brings me up to now - with time to write, time to think, time to relax. I believe it’s a 16 hour flight to Addis Ababa in Ethiopia for our first leg. A few video shots, lots of conversations. The hopes and dreams of our involvement starts now as we continue onward into the great unknown of this adventure.

Thursday, 16 February 2023 (4)

There was a couple hour layover in Addis Ababa. It was nice that we disembarked and loaded the two planes and got to be outside on the tarmac, breath in the air and not only see Ethiopia from behind terminal windows.

Then a five hour flight to Madagascar. We were met at the airport by our Country Director Brett and almost a dozen staff from PC and the embassy. We collected our bags, (no one lost any) and we loaded 6 passenger white four wheeled drive vehicles. It was our first experience with individuals who wanted to push our carts. I wasn't sure this was a free service until I took out a dollar to give him for pushing my cart 100 feet. He asked for $10, then I knew I was caught up with a rich American scenario.

It was a 3-hour enlightening drive. Nothing we saw on the internet or in any kind of preparations we received before could have prepare us quite like the reality of what we saw out the window. If a picture is worth a thousand words, what I saw was worth a million words. We saw some people happy, some sad, many working in rice fields or beating rice stacks, many walking along side of the road as there is no sidewalks. Cows chained to the side of the road in a place I could only figure out had some decent grass. Kids with no shoes. Animals of every kind, mostly thin and unnaturally small. Fewer and fewer cars as we exited Tana only to be replaced with large semi-trucks transporting supplies on this very bad two lane road. Many potholes as big as small craters from one end of the road to the other. But our driver still drives so fast and passes cars left and right.

Most wear second hand clothes, brick buildings look baren in many cases and I doubt they would stand up to even minor earthquakes. Supposedly, there is a Cyclone headed our way in a week, which may delay our going to our host families during PST.

There are no bad roads as bad as the cobblestone and dirt roads going to the training facilities for the last 10-15 miles. Can't even imagine how vehicles could get through in the rain and mud.

We arrive but not much happened here this evening. We were given our rooms, two to a room. One of the rooms gets shared with a guy and a girl. No staff have a problem with that. There was one room for just a single - I didn't want that for me. I hooked up with Samuel the other army guy. Told about the showers and a couple of us smart ones got in first before any lines. Dinner of rice and some meat (probably Zebu as it tastes rather gamey).

I don't remember what else - no desert. Warm water, hot coffee or tea, no milk.

I think I was in bed by 9pm.

Arrival at the Antananarivo Airport

Friday, 17 February 2023 (5)

It has been hard to find time to catch up. Having to go by some notes just to catch the highlights for the last couple days.

I was up only once about 1 am. The mattress is fairly firm, more than the futon I've been sleeping on for the last two months. Eventually got up at 4 am and took another shower. Up for the day.

Had a wonderful conversation with one of the Malagasy doctors about his country and his people. I was overcome by the spirit, in tears and literally shaking. I asked him to teach us how to love his people. And again with another staff member later in the day. This was not just emotion but a genuine hope, a cry for inspiration and desire to learn the one thing that would really make a difference. The secret ingredient that would season all the other ingredients.

Breakfast at 8 - rice and scrambled eggs, butter, bread, jam, bacon, more meat, some kind of juice.

We had our first classes, again mostly to orient ourselves to campus and the bigger agenda before us. Our training manager pulled me aside after our morning break, to warn me about getting too involved and possibly only ask or get verbal one in four times when it crosses my mind. Though I agree. 

We all received about 75,000 in local money which is about $15 US. We get this amount every week. 

I've always felt I needed to hold back. I guess staff is watching me closely or perhaps more closely than some of the others. I was given some good advice to hold back on some commenting. Probably best that I contribute more equally rather than more than others.

Took another covid test and have been told we'll take one every Monday while we are here. No one tested positive. Supposedly only 7% of the population is vaccinated here. Got the first of our two rabies shots. Others received other shots they needed.

One of the staff mentioned that PC actually stands for "Permanent Change." 

Another phrase - "Rather than worrying about the storm, we should dance in the rain." It's raining out tonght. I will dance to my room.

Day 1

With about 6 hours of sleep I awoke about 6:30 but because of the shower, and last minute packing (should have done it all last night) we were a little late leaving for the airport. We made good with traffic as well as sped thru the Delta counter and TSA. One of my bags was exactly 50 lbs. The other 47 lbs. The carry-on - 35 lbs! (Not good). Arrived at the gate as they were beginning to board. Cutting it a little closer than I had hoped. Adding just a little stress. I hadn't prepared for departure day as well as I should have.

There are a few emotions I am having. One is relief to finally get on the plane or as I texted home "I am on the cart and a horse is pulling it.  Minutes later, " The horse has sprouted wings." There is also a sense that I am in a reality I had not expected would ever occur. It feels like something new and something strange. The immensity of what I am now embarking on is finally here and yet the full weight of that decision and what it means and what it has put in motion is not completely there yet and probably for good reason.

But certainly, I know I am in the right place doing the right thing. I feel comfortable with all the many decisions and actions that got me on this plane. The future is uncertain but me here, now, is certain.

At Washington DC, my bags were found and 20 sweaty minutes later I had found the shuttle for DCA (Reagan National Airport) to the Hilton Arlington National Landing Hotel just a ten minute ride away. Half a dozen other Volunteers were also on the van. Made sure I helped them with their bags and tried to focus on them. 

At 6:45p we started our evening orientation. Prior to this, we had to do the second covid test to insure we wouldn't be contaminating the whole cohort.  This first orientation was just an intro, a welcome and an easing into what will surely overwhelm us as we head east to Africa. People are feeling anxious, excited, nervous and tired and said as much when we were all asked what one word would sum up our feelings.

Somewhere in the discussion about the bags and travel to Madagascar, I managed to put forth my question, which turned into a poll, and a possible solution to the overweight baggage issue half or more of the group was having. I suggested we buy a bag that would hold 50lbs of stuff and together put our extra weight in and share the cost for the extra bag rather than each of us getting hit with personal overweight charges.  Good idea suggested one of the moderators and had seen other groups do the same.

Afterwards, we added up what everyone thought they were over and we decided we needed two bags. One of the girls mother lives close by and she would be able to purchase the bags and get them to us tomorrow. I don't know where the idea came from but it made me seem like the hero of the problem. And, two of the guy (of course) had only brought one bag to stow under the plane so we might not even have to pay for the extra bags.

Afterwards, about a dozen of us met in the hotel restaurant to get some food or drinks. I think this did more for our connecting and bonding than the orientation did. I went to CVS to pick up some drinks and hostess donuts for the morning. Maybe not enough for all but some.

Coming back I connected with three other guys and we had a good conversation about movies, the language, how to help the others and whatnot.  All in all a good start for our first day.

No More Days

It been a busy few days. Last minute visits and meals with family and friends, and always just one more item to take with. I brought my desktop computer to my oldest son Adam and spent some time with him. Yesterday, we also sold the car and now Natalie will be driving my truck which is paid for. Much savings in car payment and insurance.

My last video went up on YouTube and I am preparing to enter into a void. Though I'll still be filming, I'm going to play it down some and focus on Pres-Service Training - learning the language, the culture, the rules and the job. It could be a month or two before I pick up the story again. And even then, I may have to send the videos back via a USB thumb drive in order for them to be uploaded in the states.

Fortunately, we did the majority of the packing yesterday as we ran out of time today with family over. Got it all in two - less than 50lb bags. A a heavy carry-on bag and personal item. It isn't the Delta flight to Washington DC that has me worried about weight, but the international flight.

I do have an extra pile of stuff to be mailed - mostly things for kids after training. Then there's a suitcase full of items Natalie can bring in July like another sleeping sack, more games, and scriptures in Malagasy. (They won't be very readable until then). The ward bishop came over to give me a blessing, then I gave Natalie a blessing.

Lincoln, Luke and McKay came over for dinner and the Superbowl played in the background.

This day has been neither fast nor slow. Everything has gotten done. Tomorrow the Adventure begins.

Thumbnail for last uploaded video

Clearance

Received two emails this morning. I've been dreading all messages from medical lately but one of them had "Peace Corps Medical - Medical and Dental Clearance" as it's subject heading. 

It started out with:

Dear Richard Porter,

Congratulations! You have completed your medical and dental requirements and are cleared for Peace Corps Volunteer service.

A few more paragraphs asking that I keep them informed as to any new health issues or circumstances right up until the time I get on that plane.

The message from the medical portal and my nurse Lisa read: 

Hi Rick,

Good news!!!  I have processed your medical clearance :)  You should have an email with the details. It's truly been a pleasure to work with you.  I wish you the very best in your service!

Take care,
Lisa

My final response:

Thank You. 

It is so funny because I really do know that we get all into these hopes and dreams and in 6 months we realize God may be punishing us by having answered those prayers.

But honestly, you are an angel in human form. Few people know the value of the daily work you do. You are in service to those who desire to serve. At the same time you (the PC) want only those who have not just the desire but the health and stamina for the work. 

I will only be successful because of people like you who were good and kind along the way. 

Thank you again.
Rick

While waiting for my late lunch friend, those few extra moments gave me an idea for a video I needed to do. It's a video for me. It's a video to remind me to remember this moment for those times when remembering the emotions of a day like today will put me back on track.

This Video is for Me

Final Week

I heard from Medical:

Hi Rick,

Wow!  Thank you so much for your kind words :)

I'm working on tying up the last couple of loose ends with the staff in Madagascar.  Thanks for your patience and good cheer throughout this process.  I'll keep the ball moving as quickly as I can.

Best,
Lisa

Which has me a little concerned. I'll never feel certain until I am on the plane.

Copper and I went out shopping - for whatever we thought we could use - more games, some protective pillow cases, more games, index cards, more games. Met up with Natalie and went to an accountant for taxes. It's early but we wanted to get them taken care of before I left.

Got Quinn Orr on the phone. He was another senior producer at the church publishing department with me and one of the top ten mentors in my life (though I probably only have 6 or 7). He was instrumental in hiring me for my dream job as a senior producer in 2010. I've lost touch over the years since I was let go as a part of the reduction in 2013. He was also one of the three people who submitted a reference on me for the Peace Corps. I made sure I told him of my respect and love for all he's done and how he has influenced me. Often, few people automatically know they have made a difference in our life unless they hear it directly.

It's important to connect with and express appreciation for the people I will be leaving behind. There a possibility I'll not talk with them again for two years. And what if they move or change  phone numbers or worse. I should not expect the world to still be there when I return. Again - it is a little like dying - but I know the time and circumstances.

"Fingers Crossed"

The Office of Medical Services messaged me this afternoon:

Rick,

It looks like you will be able to serve in Madagascar.  The Medical Officers there would like for you to be aware that they may not be supportive of you doing extensive travel far distances from your work site as they will not have medical capabilities to provide care in remote areas. 

Please send a statement to acknowledge that your travel may be limited.

Thanks,
Lisa

My Response:

I am 100% fine with whatever restrictions they need to place on me. My main hope is the opportunity to serve and am happy to do so in whatever capacity the powers that be, deem necessary. I also release the Peace Corps from any responsibly regarding my health.

Personally, I am surprised as I am extremely fit. I have lived off-grid for the last 18 months and just yesterday returned from my off-grid cabin where there is 6 feet or more of snow that I need to snowshoe in and out of 3 miles each way pulling a sled with 40 pounds of supplies. There is also an elevation gain of about 1000 feet. While up there I spent the better part of the day shoveling 4 feet of snow off the roofs of the buildings I constructed over the course of the last year.

But yes, I absolutely support the Peace Corps to utilize and restrict me in any way they see fit. And will do so gladly.

Thank You,
Rick Porter

And a follow-up thank you note:

Just a note to thank you Lisa. I have heard so many people who have difficulty getting through this process, some of which don't make it through for a multitude of reasons. Often people such as you are our only contact with the process.

I wanted to thank you. And likely I would still want to thank you even if I was rejected - here's why. I can tell by a few small comments that I am working with a person who really does care. I am sure you can't say much but some of your human touch still shows. For example - just recently you closed your instructions with "fingers crossed". You have no idea how much that small phase meant to me. I knew you cared. You likely understand what the process costs us and how often our future and hopes are so tied to making it through.

Thank You again for your doing what I can only imagine is a less than appreciated job. But I appreciate you. You have been nothing but professional and have shown a sense of humanity in this process with me.

Rick